You say you want me, but I’ve got my doubts.

by Kate

I had my reasons, and they were good ones.  I keep forgetting that.

It was almost a year ago that I sabotaged my relationship with K.  And I was thinking about it the other day, remembering how it all shook out and feeling bad for my behaviour, and then I remembered: I had my reasons, and they were good ones.

I have been wishing he wanted me back.  But now I remember why I acted like such a jackass: so that he would never want me back.  Never.  As in, not ever.  I’ve been blaming him for being cold-hearted, for not wanting to be friends, for not missing me.  But that was the plan, such as it was.  And it worked, so, hooray.

Hooray.

I ended things, or made him end things, however you want to look at it, for a very good reason.  Our relationship needed to end.  Not be put on hold– I could have done that myself.  I didn’t need space or time to think.  I needed to be rid of K.  I needed him to never want to be with me in that way ever again.  And it worked.

Hooray.  Ow.

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