You say you want me, but I’ve got my doubts.
I had my reasons, and they were good ones. I keep forgetting that.
It was almost a year ago that I sabotaged my relationship with K. And I was thinking about it the other day, remembering how it all shook out and feeling bad for my behaviour, and then I remembered: I had my reasons, and they were good ones.
I have been wishing he wanted me back. But now I remember why I acted like such a jackass: so that he would never want me back. Never. As in, not ever. I’ve been blaming him for being cold-hearted, for not wanting to be friends, for not missing me. But that was the plan, such as it was. And it worked, so, hooray.
I ended things, or made him end things, however you want to look at it, for a very good reason. Our relationship needed to end. Not be put on hold– I could have done that myself. I didn’t need space or time to think. I needed to be rid of K. I needed him to never want to be with me in that way ever again. And it worked.