I’m never alone, I’m alone all the time.
I’m hormonal. I’m horny. But I don’t really want to be touched. I don’t want everything that comes along with being touched. I don’t want someone else’s ego. I don’t want someone asking me to stick around after, or asking if they can stay. I don’t want to have to worry about someone else’s needs and whether they’re being met. I want to be alone. But I’m lonely.
There’s no fucking point trying to make a connection with someone who doesn’t make my heart soar. Why try? Until I find someone who really gets me in the gut, I don’t want to bother. Only I’m not used to not having a someone. I’m not used to being alone with myself. Where’s my newest shiny distraction? Since the last best one is gone.
Sometimes the best thing for everyone still sucks.