I’m never alone, I’m alone all the time.

I’m hormonal.  I’m horny.  But I don’t really want to be touched.  I don’t want everything that comes along with being touched.  I don’t want someone else’s ego.  I don’t want someone asking me to stick around after, or asking if they can stay.  I don’t want to have to worry about someone else’s needs and whether they’re being met.  I want to be alone.  But I’m lonely.

There’s no fucking point trying to make a connection with someone who doesn’t make my heart soar.  Why try?  Until I find someone who really gets me in the gut, I don’t want to bother.  Only I’m not used to not having a someone.  I’m not used to being alone with myself.  Where’s my newest shiny distraction?  Since the last best one is gone.

Sometimes the best thing for everyone still sucks.

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