either i’m wrong or i’m perfectly right every time

I tend to freak out.


Something happened last night with GT.  And I don’t know how to say it here without scaring some of the more delicate members of my reading audience (sometimes a few dozen a day!) so let’s just say that I was upset by something that GT sent me.  And he wasn’t expecting me to freak out, but freak out I did.

So now I’m wondering whether he’s going to call it quits with me, and I hope he doesn’t, but… meh.  I feel like I’m being jerked around, and that’s one thing I really don’t need right now.  You either want me or you don’t.  There’s a point where flirting becomes cruel.  There’s a point where self-revelation is kind of callous if you’re not willing to back it up with actual intimacy.  I can’t sustain being in this much of a tizzy over someone who can’t get in touch with his own emotions to figure out what he wants from me.

He’s not a bad guy, and I don’t want to paint him as such.  But I don’t think he’s ready to take me on, and if he doesn’t decide soon whether he’s willing to try, I’m going to decide for him.  I’ve given him an out.

Now I’ve got to wait and see.

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