I just don’t know what to do with myself

When I think of my recent attempts at dating and sex, the word “disaster” comes to mind.  Not that anyone’s been horribly burned or lost their life savings or anything, but things haven’t been exactly smooth.  Dates should not end with one party slipping away to buy cigarettes and not coming back.  Sex shouldn’t result in apologies.    Don’t you agree?  So it’s not a date, it’s a disasterdate.  It’s not sex, it’s disastersex.

And so now it’s gotten to the point that I’m afraid to even try anymore.  Which is made more difficult by the fact that I’m completely boy-crazy and can’t go a week without falling for someone.  So I’m in this weird state of desire/aversion all the time.  I want!  But I fear!

And I made out with someone last night.  Understandably, I am now insane.

You’re so fine, you blow my mind


Aren’t crushes on actors so silly?  I know, I know.  But, you see, this one’s worthy!  Oh yes.

I am trying to watch (500) Days of Summer, but I can’t.  Because of Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  He is so cool.  He is so dreamy.  Oh.

I also love Ze Frank, but he’s married, and that guy who played Archie Hicox but only as Archie Hicox and I have an unhealthy attraction to Gary Oldman who is way too old and also a conservative Republican.

But Joseph Gordon-Levitt is my age.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt is boyishly handsome!  Joseph Gordon-Levitt can sing!  Joseph Gordon-Levitt is smart and lovely and and he seems to have depth!  So I can’t watch this stupid movie because I keep getting all flutter-hearted and having to turn it off.

I need to get a life.