You keep a lot of secrets, and I keep none…

by Kate

…wish I could go back, and keep some

This week has been hard, and I’ve only had to do three abbreviated days of group therapy. It’s been exhausting. No amount of sleep is enough, but at least I’m sleeping.

Talking is exhausting. Trying not to dominate the conversations is exhausting. Being open to the experience is exhausting, but less exhausting that remaining closed to it. Today it occurred to me that maybe it’s where I need to be, and that thought terrified me. I’m learning things. They are not easy things to learn, sometimes. There’s a lot of common ground. The insight can be validating, and it can also be terrifying. Yes, I know I’m using the same adjectives over and over. They are the best adjectives.

I get to go to bed soon.

Which is good. Because I am exhausted.

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