Month: February 2012

Four months ago, I got hit by a truck while turning left on a two-lane residential street in San Francisco.

The insurance companies couldn’t really assign fault.  The police report has some incorrect information on it, because they took my statement when I’d just gotten hit by a truck.

The hospital never checked me for a head injury.  They didn’t even look at my pupils.  And I am confident that I had a concussion, because I’m still getting headaches daily.  My neck and back, which weren’t in perfect shape before the accident, now hurt almost constantly.  I’m trying to figure out the best way to get care for myself, and in the meantime I’m barely functional without daily intake of a handful of pills.  But I’m functional.  And emotionally I’m doing pretty well, which helps.

I’m in touch with a lawyer about taking action against the other insurance company, but it seems like such an uphill slog that I haven’t done much yet.  I know that I should.  I’m going to start tonight.

I found out earlier today that I might qualify for a state program for medically indigent adults, which would mean that I could finally see specialists to address my ongoing problems.  I have a referral to a neurologist but no money to pay for it.  I am hoping as hard as I can that I can soon get the care I need.  I have a feeling that this, too, will be difficult.  Red tape, bureaucracy, the government.  Too many people struggling to get too little money and attention.  Hopefully they’ll see that I need help.

I am optimistic.  But I am struggling and in pain.  When I get through this rough patch, I’ll probably be a stronger and healthier person.  But this part is hard.

Hello, my loves!

I’m trying to improve my life.  I don’t know if it’s the antidepressants or what, but I’m feeling really optimistic and like I can take on the world.  I’m making plans!  I’m thinking of the future!  I’m being proactive!  And stuff!

I’ve been going a little nuts on Amazon lately, because this having-a-full-time job thing means I’ve got more money than I have in YEARS.  And I’m spending it!  But on good things!

I got a new phone.  It was free, so it doesn’t count, but OMG is’t amazing. It’s an Android phone, and I’m in love with it enough to never want to go back to an iPhone, no matter how flashy they are!  Damn the man!

And I’m still in love with my car.  Zelda and I are tight.  Yes, her name is Zelda.  She told me.  We have a deep connection.

SO!  SHOPPING! I bought some vitamins and a car charger for my phone and a lap-desk and a backrest and all these things that are going to make my life better!  I didn’t buy shoes or dresses or anything stupid.  I bought stuff that’ll help me be an adult n’ shit. It’s all very mature.

And I bought Proactiv.

I am tired of having adult acne.  I have crow’s feet now, I’m not going to have that AND acne.  Makes me look like a fucking meth addict.  So far it’s working, but let me tell ya, the company that makes/sells Proactiv is up to some eeeeeil stuff.  If you buy through them they automatically (without telling you ahead of time) enroll you in their program and after 3o days start shipping their products to you WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.  And they charge assloads for the privilege.  I fortunately caught on to their nefarious plot and canceled my membership.  Just to be safe, I hunted around on Paypal and saw that they had indeed set up a recurring payment schedule, which I canceled on that end as well.  But there are reports of them continuing to charge people who’ve canceled their memberships, so BEWARE.  If this stuff actually works, I think I’ll buy their product from eBay or something.

It’s time to get serious, people.  I got some adulthood to do.

(Brought to you by migraine meds and caffeine.  WHEEEEEEEEEEEE.)

Men.  This one’s for you.

So you’re balding.  That sucks.  I’m sorry you have to go through this.  I’m sure you had luscious hair when you were younger, and having it fall out must be a terrible shock.

But there is hope!  First, consult Esquire’s fantastic and funny “How To Be Bald” for some advice and perspective about what to do about your particular brand of hair loss.  And then come back and listen to what I have to say.

The Esquire piece starts off with a gorgeous baldy, Jude Law.  Our man Jude had a hard time adjusting to his hair loss.  In the late 1990s and early oughts, he was a specimen of metrosexual male perfection.  He was stunning.  But for the last several years, Jude’s been going bald. He’s tried to hide it with hats.  He’s braved the outside world with his wisps of hair carefully arranged.  But recently, Jude gave up the ruse.

And he looks amazing, as always.  Sure, he’s older.  He doesn’t have as much of that heart-stopping quality he had when he was in his tweties, but who does? He’s balding and he’s rocking it, and I for one still harbor a huge actor-crush on him.

Moving on, I want to tell you about my friend Todd.

I had a crush on Todd from the first moment I saw him.  He was freakin’ adorable.  We dated briefly when we were 17, and then reconnected at 29.  He’s one of my favorite people in the world.  And he’s bald. Really, really bald.

You have to understand, Todd had excellent hair.  For the 90s, anyway.  It was long and honey-colored and thick and… well, the kind of hair girls envy.  Here’s what Todd looked like in his late teens:

These pictures don’t do him justice, but I think you can see from this that my massive crush was justified.  He looked vaguely like James Van Der Beek, but without the enormous forehead.  He was hot.

Todd and I didn’t see each other for about 11 years, and in the meantime he got married, had a kid, got divorced, moved to Oklahoma, moved back from Oklahoma, got cancer and lost a testicle, and… lost all his hair.

This is Todd now:

Now, I have some friends, and I’m not gonna name names, who are super insecure about their hair loss.  And these are guys who are still gorgeous and masculine and virile and everything, just… y’know… balding.

And I’m here to tell you, boys, that you can still be totally hittable if you’re losing your hair.  What’s most attractive to sane and discerning women is confidence.  If you’re insecure, it doesn’t matter how perfect or imperfect your hair is, you’re gonna rate low on the dateability scale. But if you own it and rock it and show the world that you’ve still got it, we’ll believe you.

Don’t be like my Douchey Ex and wear hats all the time.  We all know you’re balding, honey.  You’re not fooling anyone. Be self-assured and work with the hair (or lack of hair) that nature has seen fit to bless you with.  You’re getting older, wiser, and better– and all it has cost you is a little hair.  Seems like a good deal to me.